The old man was tired. Tired of life, tired of all of the death he had seen in his time. He was tired of hatred, tired of fighting and most of all he was tired of trying to convince himself that things would get better. He stood on the edge of the bridge, he could hear the water lapping against the steel supports far below. It was cold, in the distance Christmas lights gleamed, and people went about their last minute shopping to prepare for tomorrow’s holiday. He edged closer to the abyss, his heart beating rapidly, the toes of his boots peaking over the precipice. He was counting down in his head, ready to jump when the voice came out of nowhere.
The voice was beautiful, feminine, but slightly husky, it said “Since you have decided to end your life, I assume all of your questions have been answered?” The old man started, then slowly looked about for the owner of the voice. “Where are you?” He said, backing away from the edge and feeling a sense of relief. The voice came from above him, “I am here, above you.” He jerked his face upward and could see a beautiful young woman sitting on the girder above him. “Who are you, and what in the world are you doing here?” said the man in complete surprise and just a little contempt. She smiled widely and kicked her bare feet back and forth. “Well, I see you do still have some questions, I can answer a few for you before you go ahead with your suicide.”
The man shook his head, “I doubt you can answer the questions I have young lady, I’ve lived a hard life and seen too much go wrong.” The young lady giggled and slid off of the beam, landing lightly on her feet next to the man. “I can answer any and all questions you might have.” She said, and an intense glow of light beamed from her face. The man stumbled back, almost falling but caught himself and sat down, staring up at the most beautiful face he had ever seen. So beautiful was this face that he began to weep, and he felt his soul stir within his belly. “Are you an angel?” He stammered. She giggled lightly and the light faded from her face. “Something like that.” she said with a wink. The man’s head was spinning, his breath coming fast, he blinked tears out of his eyes. “Where is God in all of this pain and suffering?” He finally said between sobs. “Here, everywhere, in every person, in every animal, every stone, God is bigger than the universe, it all resides within God.” She stooped down and wiped the tears from his face.
He grew angry, his face contorted, “Then why doesn't God do something about all of this shit, why doesn't God save us?” His words came out hot, and razor sharp but the calm smile never left the young woman’s face. “You do it to yourselves you know, you make bad choices, you don’t learn, you choose to follow madmen, and you favor apathy over change. Its really surprising that more of you don’t choose to end your lives early.” The man flinched at her words, as if he had been slapped. “What about sin, the tree, the apple, Satan and all of that? That wasnt our idea.” She giggled again, “Well, the story is allegory you know, not meant to be taken literal, but you guys have trouble with that. Sin is natural, its part of this world, sin is temptation to be selfish, and in being selfish you make bad choices, and then you should learn from those choices and become a better person...but sadly many of you seem to never get it. You know if you die here, tonight, your just going to have to come back and do it again.”
The man’s head was spinning at this point, he felt sick, angry, sad, hopeful, and aggravated all at once. “What do you mean come back?” He spit the words at her, he was trying to stand now. “Are you telling me there is no heaven, no hell?” She helped hoist him to his feet, “Yes, that's right, no heaven, no hell, at least not in the way you think of those things. There is a world beyond this one, but it takes time and effort to become conscious enough to enter it, You have to live through this life many times before you are ready to move to the next world.”
The man was standing now, somewhat unsteady, but his face was full of curiosity now, rather than anger or sadness. He looked directly into the woman’s face, “OK, so all the stuff I’ve done wrong, all the mistakes I've made, are you saying God doesn't judge me? Are you saying that there is no eternal punishment, no reason to feel guilty or shameful?” God doesn't need to judge you, God created you, made you the way you are, you are children, you must learn. Do you judge a child for making a mistake? God has no reason to judge you, you judge yourselves and that is more damning that anything God could do. Your punishment is your own wallowing in self pity, guilt and shame, you become apathetic and then refuse to change, you create your own hell and place yourself inside then throw away the key.” She walked along the edge past the man, and did a bit of a pirouette on the edge of the precipice. The man lurched forward, afraid she would fall. She giggled and turned to him, “See, your not all bad you would have risked yourself to save me.”
The mans face turned into a mask of indignation. “What are you trying to prove to me, you come here and tell me things I cannot believe, what is it you are trying to do?” At this point the woman turned her face to the man, her countenance began to grow and soon the man could perceive no other reality except this awesome face, she spoke and the words exploded into the mans brain causing him to feel as if he were dying, and being born all at the same time. “YOU SPEAK YOUR QUESTIONS MAN, YET YOU DO NOT HEAR THE ANSWERS. YOU CLAIM YOUR FAULTS YET DO NOTHING TO CHANGE THEM. YOU WANT OUT BY CASTING AWAY YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES BUT YOU ARE INDIGNANT WHEN TOLD YOU HAVE FAILED THOSE SAME RESPONSIBILITIES ALREADY.” The power of her words caused the mans knees to buckle, he began to sob again and felt infinitely small compared to the young woman who stood over him. In a small voice he squeaked, “I am sorry...I don’t mean to be foolish, I want to change, I want to have hope, and I want to be responsible.”
The woman reached out her hand and touched his forehead. The fear left him and he was able to look her in the face again. “This is your redemption man, your redemption is in the hope in your heart and the power you have to change yourself. If you can change then those around you will see it, and they too can then change. It all starts with one person, giving up apathy and walking the path of responsibility. If you can do this then you will have learned and you will have accepted the greatest gift that God has ever given to man.” The man stood again, straightening his clothing, and reached out to touch the woman. She took his hand and led him onto the bridge proper. He looked confused, and then turned to her, “So, what is the greatest gift God ever gave to man?” She smiled a smile so deep and so true that the man’s heart fluttered and he felt love and life like he had never experienced it before. “
She said, “The greatest gift I have given you and all of humankind is this, you have choice, you can change, and you can grow and if one begins it others will follow. Go and do as I have told you, and you will make a better world tomorrow.” The man flinched as the light around the woman’s face became intensely bright, he shook his head and cleared his eyes and she was gone. Only the silent cold air and the softly falling snow could be seen any where around him. There were no foot prints, no sign that she was ever there. He glanced across the cold dark river and could see the Christmas lights flickering, and faintly, ever so faintly he could hear the crowds singing Joy to the world.
