Risk

I remember holding
My breath
Until my lungs hurt
The water cold and encompassing
Squeezing the living breath
From my chest
The risk in losing
Consciousness
I remember that
First fight
Exploding intensity
Fear and adrenaline pumping
Wanting scars
And blood
The risk of losing
face
I remember the touch
Like fire
My fingertips caressed
What I could never have
Hoping that risk
Would save me
The risk of losing
Everything